I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
