Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
