just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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