i may or may not be watching the land before time
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize