Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
