I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
