That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
