I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize