I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
