I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
