Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
