What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
