It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
