If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do herpes really smell.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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