Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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