How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If that was your dad, he is hot
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
