i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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