Don't make out with my wife yet
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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