Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize