the condom got lost in my hair
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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