From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
