Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize