I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love having hate sex.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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