we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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