Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
