hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
