Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
