Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
