But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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