Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
