How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
