i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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