I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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