I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
