Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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