Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this beer tastes like vomit already
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
