My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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