I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
