Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
