It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
