So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
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I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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