That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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