is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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