Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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