Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I puked a lego.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
