I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
