Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
