i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
