I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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