Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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