Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Please don't give away my fajitas
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
