Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please don't give away my fajitas
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
