watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
