yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
