im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
