so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
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When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize