Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
